Anxiety Resources
Anxiety sometimes hits us like a ton of bricks. Other times it sneaks up on us slowly and we start to feel irritable and “tired” without knowing that it’s anxiety. Maybe we have a lot of lists and rules for ourselves about how life needs to go or what we are “supposed” to do or feel. In all of these cases, it’s easy to feel like we don’t have any options and are just along for the anxiety ride.
We do have options, it’s just hard to remember them. Here are some options to help tame anxiety. Not every option is going to work for you. Try some, see how they feel, and pick the ones that work best for you. Nothing will ever be perfect, but it can certainly feel better.
Physical grounding
1. If possible, put both of your feet on the ground. If you have shoes on and you can take them off, do so and notice the feeling of your feet touching the ground.
2. Try some slow tapping. Cross your arms so that your right hand is resting on your left shoulder and your left hand is resting on your right shoulder. Slowly tap one side and then the other. This is called “butterfly hug”. Don’t like the feeling of your arms crossed across your chest? No problem, put one hand on your left thigh and one hand on your right thigh and alternate slowly tapping one and then the other. You should quickly notice feeling a bit calmer, like a down shift.
3. Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation- Start with your toes, and practice slowly tensing your toes, holding them tense for a few seconds and then releasing your toes, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. When you have done that, move on to your foot muscles. Slowly tense up the muscles in your foot, hold for a few seconds and then release them. Continue the tensing and releasing with a deep breath as you go step by step through your entire body.
4. Move your body! Go for a walk around the block, a ride on your bike, go up and down the stairs a few times, whatever gets you moving. This will release endorphins which will give you a boost!
5. Listen to a guided meditation. We find this resource to be helpful, and it’s free! https://insighttimer.com/
6. Try different breathing techniques that turn on your parasympathetic nervous system response, turn off your sympathetic response, see which one works best for you.
Square, or 4x4, breathing- imagine a square and breathe in for 4 as you draw one side of a square in your mind, hold the breath for 4 as you draw the next line in your imagination, then out for count of 4 as you draw the next line, last hold for 4 counts as you draw the last line of the square in your mind. Repeat until your body feels calmer.
Nadi Shodhana breathing, or alternate nostril breathing- This short video explains it well.
Practice Vagus Nerve stimulation (various breathing techniques including the Humming Bee and Triangle breathing)- This type of breathing helps stimulate your “rest and digest”, parasympathetic nervous system, part of your nervous system by strengthening the vagal response that’s integral in self-soothing. Your body cannot be in fight or flight, aka panic and anxiety, when we can come back into our strong “vagal tone” and self soothe when needed.
This breathing technique and explanation video helps guide you through the practice.
7. Set a timer on your phone for one minute. Then silently look around your space and notice as many details as possible. (Ex. There’s a crack in the wall right there, the light bulb is flickering, there are three pencils in the pencil holder on the desk).
8. Raise or lower your body temperature. Raise it with some brief but swift exercise (jumping jacks). Lower it with an ice pack applied to the sides of your temples or a cold shower. This changes your nervous system reaction and shocks it out of the anxiety.
Mental Grounding
9. Do a 5 senses mindfulness exercise, slow down and really notice what each of your five senses is noticing, one at a time in detail.
10. Think about your thinking and try to notice and challenge your thoughts. What are the beliefs about the situation? What actions (or inactions) are you participating in? Are there consequences to those actions or inactions? How do those make you feel? Are there any ways to reframe the thoughts/feelings/beliefs in a more effective or positive way? Are there any behaviors or actions that can change that would be more effective or positive? How might that make you feel?
11. Try Opposite Action for some of the thoughts or actions that are not effective. Double check to see if you’re participating in common cognitive distortions like catastrophizing, personalizing, jumping to conclusions or overgeneralizing. If some of those are habits for you, try noticing when that habit pops up in your mind, then do the opposite.
12. Take one minute – set a timer- and write down everything you feel anxious about. When you are done, feel free to crumple up the list and recycle it!
13. Check in with your motivation- are you being willful and stubborn about your thoughts or behaviors, or are you willing to be flexible, curious, open, and able to see options for change? Try to shift into willingness using dialectics…. Described below.
14. Create a dialectic- that means two things can be true at the same time. Such as acceptance and change can happen at the same time. Also, acceptance doesn’t mean you agree with the situation. Have you heard the phrase “accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can”? Make a phrase for yourself with this sentence stem- Even though ______ (insert problem I can’t change), I can work to change _____ (insert something you have control over in the situation).
15. Schedule your worry time. Set aside some time in your day or week where you can count on having time and space set aside to worry. Stick to it and don’t let yourself avoid the scheduled worry time.
16. Face the challenges and avoid avoiding. After using some of the resources above, try reflecting on what happened before you got anxious or what makes you anxious (probably a situation or event).
- Name the situation/event/stressor and try to describe it. If we can name it and describe it, we can do something about it.
- Find a reasonable response that’s balanced with your emotions and a logical way to face the issue.
- Then do your best to take small steps to face the issue.
Emotional Grounding
17. Remember feelings don’t last forever. Emotions come and go. Use the things on this list to help yourself get through the waves of emotions knowing it won’t always be like this.
18. Call a trusted friend or family member and let them know how you’re feeling and what you’re worried about.
19. Write it down. Write about what went well, what you are grateful for, what you’ve been doing that helped your anxiety etc. Write down how you felt today and track your progress using feelings words that are specific and descriptive. This will help you notice that you do change, and things really don’t always stay the same.
20. Say nice things about yourself or your loved ones. (“You’re a good person that’s worried about the future.” “No matter what happens you have the strength and skills to handle it.” “You will get through this.”)
21. Make a list of your favorite things. Like animals, colors, season, smells, places, food, time of day, movie, TV show, etc.
22. Imagine in detail a place where you feel safe and calm. This place can be real or fictional. Take note in your imagination of all the things your five senses can experience in this place. Then, notice how your body feels there. Next, notice how your emotions are in this place.
23. Plan something to look forward to. Small things like a cup of tea in the morning, seeing your pet when you come back home, or watching a TV show can be small ways to make sure you build in things that you enjoy and can look forward to experiencing.
What if these tools don’t work? Practice, practice, practice. Do them again and again in times where you’re not in distress so your body understands and recognizes the tool without the barrier of distress. That way when you get into a difficult situation or thought loop your body and mind will easily recognize the calm you felt the last time you used the coping tool.
You don’t have to do any of this alone. Call a friend! Or better yet, call your therapist.